Hide the Seconal!

Will Michelle choose the easy way out--or will she succumb to poisoning, starvation, or worse?
"In my household, over the last year we have just shifted to organic for this very reason. I mean, I saw just a moment in my nine-year-old’s life–-we have a good pediatrician, who is very focused on childhood obesity, and there was a period where he was, like, `Mmm, she’s tipping the scale.’ So we started looking through our cabinets. . . . You know, you’ve got fast food on Saturday, a couple days a week you don’t get home. The leftovers, good, not the third day! . . . So that whole notion of cooking on Sunday is out. . . . And the notion of trying to think about a lunch every day! . . . So you grab the Lunchables, right? And the fruit-juice-box thing, and we think–-we think–that’s juice. And you start reading the labels and you realize there’s high-fructose corn syrup in everything we’re eating. Every jelly, every juice. Everything that’s in a bottle or a package is like poison in a way that most people don’t even know. Now we’re keeping, like, a bowl of fresh fruit in the house. But you have to go to the fruit stand a couple of times a week to keep that fruit fresh enough that a six-year-old--she’s not gonna eat the pruney grape, you know. At that point it’s, like, `Eww!’ She’s not gonna eat the brown banana or the shrivelledy-up things. It’s got to be fresh for them to want it. Who’s got time to go to the fruit stand? Who can afford it, first of all?”

There's no comfort for the oppressed in Michelle's America--just a $10,000 budget for dance lessons
"We spend between the two kids, on extracurriculars outside the classroom, we're spending about $10,000 a year on piano and dance and sports supplements. And summer programs...Do you know what summer camp costs?"
--remarks by Michelle Obama to a group of women in Zanesville, Ohio, where median annual household income is $37,000